Thursday, July 21, 2011

Strangled Lillies!

While I use to try to keep a small flower garden perfectly composed with ever blooming breeds of flowers in complimentary colors, shapes and seems my lack of engagement the past few years has left me with an overwhelming amount of catnip and a handful of the most beautiful asiatic and stargazer lillies. I see these lillies from the back slider door where I let the dogs out to roam the backyard mutliple times through out the day. The weather has been so oppressive this summer that I have hardly made the voyage out back to visit these lovely lillies!! This morning though, after the storms rumbled through with scant amounts of rain but a tiny drop in temperature (I think we are waking up to 78??) I tipped my toes out to test the air (kinda like when you dip your toes inthe pool to test the water) I decided I would attempt to cross the yard up to the garden to smell the lillies! Now such a hike had it's risks and I was not prepared to battle the bird sized mosquitos that could potentially  up and carry me away..but I did grab a knife. I reached my small flower patch with puppies on my heels excited to have me outside with them. To my amazement I found 4 stems of the most beautiful lillies I have ever grown. Sadly stems with petals already fallen still reamained and I wondered what wonders I had missed this summer thanks to the pesky bugs and heat! These beautiful flowers amongst the remains of what use to be a carefully planned out scheme were being strangled by some sort of twisty, tangling weed. I have a love for fresh flowers in the house which I usually purchase at farmers market . I also respect the right for a flower to flourish in the out of doors where God meant for them to grow. So as I cut the strangling vines away to allow the amazing beauties to stand tall I was thinking about how poetic the situation was. This flower that should be flourishing in it's natural element, was being strangled instead. So I cut it free and brought it inside where not only it will be safe from the elements, but appreciated as well.

     There was a time when I thought everything had to be perfect. The perfect house, kids, husband job....but the more perfect I tried to make things LOOK...the more I became strangled by chasing my own tail around in circles. So I cut myself free...oh I still have the husband and I am the first one to tell you how thing s REALLY are when chatting with the girls at the pool. The blatant ugly truth is such a happier place than the constant battle to fake a fantastic life!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Cryin' like a little girl in a dirty dress... know me is to know that I am a TV addict. There is literally a tv in every room of our house except the bathrooms....and even there....if you lean just right or position the mirror just right can still see the TV if in fact the audible version isn't good enough for a 20 second bathroom break. SO...with that I am ,  sitting in bed tonight , working my Etsy store with Sniper, the angry cat, with six inch nails. The puppy is barking at us from the other side of  a baby gate while I am watching a new show on Lifetime called "COMING HOME". Granted, I cry thru holiday, coffee, Halmark and kleenex commercials...who doesn't right (cold-hearted biotches maybe)?  Anywhooo....."Coming Home", it's about a bunch of soldiers coming home to surprise loved ones. I am amazed at children who are so happy they cry when they realise that their Daddy is the one walking into their classroom! With the focus on five families in one hour I have cried once every ten minutes!!
     Okay, and not to jinx you...but, I just made a deal with my daughter to swap the cat for the dog and as I jumped outta bed with growling cat by the back of his neck (as any loving mum would) I got tangled up in my  laptop's power cord and crashed to the ground for the second time in one week. Whatever you do...don't laugh...karma is like a bad chain letter with real consequences!! I swear I fractured my foot last week....but refuse to wear the "boot" that I already have from breaking my foot  a few years back....tho the concept of going to the doctor and proving the breakage in order to get some vicodine is a plus....I just keep drinking milk (in the morning and vodka at night...just doing my part to keep the peace with Russia)...
    In closing...I am wondering why my husband who is watching tv in the room directly below me... hasn't come up to see what the" trainwreck" noise was when I fell...I am guessing that he is "SO OVER ME"..actually, if he was funny like me...he would have assumed that the zit on my chin just imploaded.....that's a whole 'nother blog y'all...XO!!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

An Actual Pissing Match...

This is why I haven't had time to create anything this week...

So after three weeks with the new puppy all was going well..or so I thought. Aside from the cat hating the puppy and still threatening to shred the pup with razor sharp pup and our "not so beloved" but more so "put-uped" with boxer (which we adopted for my son)...were getting along fine...the best of friends. OR SO I THOUGHT!

FAST FOREWARD...While driving to the Highschool to pick up my Manatee (my swimmer...beautiful freestyler but sometimes forgets it's a competition...thus not a shark but a Manatee and I never use real names to protect the innocent...) the voices in my head and I were having a conversation. We were debating the term, pissing match. Where did the term come from? Did it evolve because of dogs? Did it evolve because of cats and if it was because of cats was it because of boy cats or girl cats or all cats? We all know cats like to leave their mark. Then the voices and I switched back to dogs. Was it dogs and was it girl dogs because if it was, the term pissing match made complete sense!! By the time this conversation had played out in my head the Manatee was launching his 50 pound backpack at me and climbing in the front seat. Really? The Manatee climbed in and because he is always telling me random, dumbass stuff that my brain really doesn't need to waste space knowing,  I asked,
     "Where do you think the term pissing match came from?"
He looked at me with the "WTF???" look and said,
     "Why would I care?"
I proceeded to tell him that I wasn't setting up a joke, I was asking a legitimate (to me) question. Then I whacked him in the back of the head for the "WTF look" and told him what happened.

So here it is:
I worked in my bedroom all day and left the dogs both free ranging it because we haven't had any problems, but when I went downstairs in preparation to pick up the kids I found a fairly good-sized pool of pee (THE BOXER), but I wasn't mad instead I felt bad because clearly it was my fault for not paying attention and letting her out...blah blah blah...I proceeded towards the papertowels only to glance into the dining room to see two small pools of pee (PUPPY PEE) I am thinking to myself or maybe even talking out loud to the voices in my head, "Dang, they both had to go out! BAD MOMMY!!" So, I headed towards the two smaller pools of pee, but when I got to them I  found an entire minefield of pee puddles!!! Some of the pools were bigger (BOXER)some were just barely puddles (PUPPY). WTF??? Thankfully, we have hardwood floors. Needless to say both are in the doghouse today. Figuratively of course! Puppy is now confined to my bedroom with me while kitty is freerange for the first time in 3 weeks. I have switched to a babygate as my newest attempt to continue separating and acclimating the two...and the BOXER? What BOXER?? Just kidding...she's still here too.

SO, to my few, but much loved followers, I ask you this: Where did the term "pissing match" come from anyway?
Have a great dane!! (yeah, I know...but it always makes the voices and I chuckle when I say it and people are left wondering if I said "dane" or "day")

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Where I spent the last two months...(:

Stick a Fork in this BLOG I am done!!

In a house with three kids going to 5 schools (yes, we are over-achievers) AND a new puppy (who after 3 weeks has yet to win over our cat named SNIPER...yes he lives up to the name) let's just say it's crazy around here in the mornings. My oldest is a freshman who just finished his first year swimming Varsity so only a few short weeks ago I was driving him to school at 5am. I thought mornings would get easier...enter puppy. an attempt to live my dream of working from home, creating cool stuff and making a sale or two, I have opened my Etsy store. That took two months of 24/7 working and I am still today trying to figure out how to get sales which is why I am now BLOGGING! Blogging seems to be an important venue when it comes to getting buyers into an on-line store. So as I sit here still in PJ' half up half down from picking my head in frustration all the while trying to build my BLOG. So here it is. Blog number one. Since I don't have any followers I am fairly certain that I can say whatever the hell I want without upsetting anyone. Added bonus I can go back to uncensored subjects etc because I don't have half of my children's friends watching my posts! YAHOO...I promise if I ever figure this out and have any followers it will get funnier.